Random Questions. . .

1. What does Fergie's song, London Bridge mean?? I don't get it. I love the song and it's got that "good beat you can dance to" vibe but really---what does it mean?
Anybody else like songs they can't understand??? I'll have to find the lyrics and analyze.

2. What's with John Norris' hair?? I'm watching the VMAs and once again I'm not understanding the orange mushroom on his head.

3. Are Erika and Janelle really as stupid as they appear? (If you're a Big Brother fan then you'll understand the question)

4. Why is P. Diddy STILL making albums, better yet why is Beyonce rapping in her new song????

St. Louis More Dangerous Than Iraq??????

I had a recruiting event today. . . and I just HAPPENED to be sitting next to an Army Recruiter. I immediately started thinking about a Dateline NBC report about the aggressive tactics of US Army Recruiters. To be honest, this guy was so good that by the end of the day he had ME thinking, "Maybe I should join up. . ." But in all seriousness, he was a nice guy--about thirty something and he had the most Norman Rockwell looking young solider who couldn't have been more than 19 sitting next to him. The older guy did most of the talking while the younger guy second everything he was saying. He kept going on and on about how much money a person can earn by joining the Army. They could get 20,000 cash just for signing up, that didn't include the 150,000 they're guaranteed for college, and when they're finally ready to settle down and get a house, Uncle Sam would be their automatic co-signer.

"How'd you like to work in Germany, Korea, England, Italy, or Thailand???" Not once did he mention Iraq or Afghanistan.

"What about Iraq?"
"Iraq isn’t that dangerous. Hell, if you live in some parts of St. Louis it’s more dangerous than Iraq. Look at the news?"


I watched as the young people---men and women, some educated, most not, eyes light up when he mentioned the possibility of earning so much money. I wanted to scream, "Don't believe the hype... don't get sucked in," but I didn't. I sat there listening. . . thinking about the Rockwell Soldier, J. Kennedy. Where would he be in six months? What about his wife and stepchild? Would he be going to Germany, Korea, England. . or some other not so pleasant place???

Temporary Gifts

I love old movies. I could spend an entire weekend watching Turner Classic Movies. I used to watch AMC religiously as a child. My brother and sister would make fun of me b/c I'd rather watch "It Happened One Night..." than "New Jack City." To be honest, that's still a movie I have yet to see. Sue me.

I was watching "Zigfield Girl" with Jimmy Stewart, Judy Garland, Lana Turner and Heddy Lamour. It was a good drama. I don't really do the musicals (okay I do the Sound of Music, My Fair Lady, and West Side Story but that's IT!!).I thought it would be a really silly musical and there's nothing worse than a black and white musical. The movie was good, but I couldn't help looking at the young pretty Lana Turner and comparing it to the "old" Lana Turner. It reminded me of the "temporary gifts" my aunt is always shoving down the younger generation's. At our recent family reunion we had postboard pictures of our family from the early 1900- to the present. My aunt kept going on and on about beauty being a temporary gift from God. She constantly referred to Aunt's _____ beauty, or Aunt____ used to be so pretty. Look at them now. "It's a temporary gift from God," she said and pointed to the various women in the room. "Everyone used to have it, so you better enjoy it while you can."

How much time do I have left???

My Song for the Week (Imagine Me)

Okay. . I'm totally feeling Kirk Franklin's "Imagine Me." Not only are the lyrics touching, but the song is just beautiful. I am going to be playing this all day today. ..

Imagine me loving what I see when the mirror looks at me cause I imagine me.
In a place of no insecurities and I'm finally happy cause
I imagine me.
Letting go of all of the ones who hurt me cause they never did deserve me, can you imagine me.
Sayng no to thoughts that try to control me, remembering all you told me, Lord can you imagine me.
Over what my momma said, hear from what my daddy did and I wanna live and not read that page again.

Imagine me, being free, trusting you totally, finally I can imagine me, I admit it was hard to see you being in love with someone like me, finally I can imagine me.

Imagine me

Being strong and not letting people break me down, you won't get that joy this time around. Can you imagine me.
In a world, in a world where nobody has to be afraid, because of your love, it's gone away, can you imagine me.
Letting go of my past and glad I have another chance and hard to dance cause I don't have to read that page again.

Imagine me, being free, trusting you totally, finally I can imagine me, I admit it was hard to see you being in love with someone like me, finally I can imagine me.
Imagine me

My Family

I thought I'd post some pictures of my Nana (the lady on the left in my profile pic) and my great aunts whom I love to death. I miss my Nana and being with my aunts makes me feel so much closer to her. I can't believe it's been ten years since her death. This is one of my favorite pictures. I love any and everything old and vintage. This picture is the epitome of class and style. There's something about the way men and women "dressed up" for dinner. When I was younger I would take old pictures to class and the first thing people would notice is Duke Ellington in alot of our family pictures. I really had no idea (much to the shigrin of my grandfather) who The Duke was. I thought he was some old long lost uncle who decided not to show up for family functions. Anyway, there is definitely a story in this picture thatI need to write and I will.... one day.

I'm tired

I just wanted to get that out on paper. I've said it ten times already and it isn't even 10 'clock. WHY DID I VOLUNTARILY SUBJECT MYSELF TO THIS CRAZY SCHEDULE!!!! I did it, and now I must suffer the consequences. I only hope that I will be able to keep this up through December. I'll just have to stop staying up late watching meaningless reality television. DAMN BRAVO AND PROJECT RUNWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SO I FINALLY HAVE A BLOG

I honestly never thought I'd create a blog. My friend Stephen has been hounding me about creating one for years. I don't know, there's just something very strange about sharing who I am with the world. It's not that I am not internet savvy, or afraid. Heck, I've been online for over ten years. As a matter of fact, Stephen and I, someone with whom I feel is a very good friend, have only met ONCE. Our "cyber" friendship has consisted mostly of email, text messages, and telephone conversations---particularly when either one of us is going through relationship woes.

Alas, here I am blog and all!! Actually, I wouldn't be here if I hadn't been REQUIRED to do an online journal for a creative writing class that I'm taking. The goal was to take a class that would FORCE me to start writing again. Whenever I refer to myself, I always say writer--regardless of what particular "job" title I have, but it has been CRAZY actually trying to fit time in to write. I get so bogged down with work, goals, things I need to do, and things I have to do that being able to "sit" and create has become almost IMPOSSIBLE.