“Rose of Jericho”
by Ellen Nicole Usher
Mama warned me but I just couldn't stay away. Mama always told
me to stay clear of Aunt Rae. Aunt Rae lived a couple of blocks away from my
mama's house.
One thing's for sure, people were always talkin' 'bout Aunt Rae.
Seems as if a day didn't go by without hearin' some kinda story ‘bout what she
had done that day or the day before. People even knew stories 'bout Rae from
way back, before I was born.
"Didya hear what crazy Rae done done today?"
Seems like everybody had Rae on their minds. Aunt Rae was my
mama's older sister. Grandma Lee had been married to some man before she met my
grandpa and had Aunt Rae. If you looked at Mama and Rae you'd have a hard time
believin' they were sisters. Looked mo' like mother and daughter than sisters.
But that's what they were.
My mama looked like Grandaddy Ed, least that's what the people
say. They said he was tall and as dark as the nights. Rae favored Grandma Lee.
Grandma Lee's mother had been pure blood Cherokee, and she wore
her hair jest like them Indians did. Her braids were so long, longer than mine.
Looked kinda like she had gray snakes easing down her shoulders and into her
lap. People say I got my hair from Grandma Lee.
"You sho' is blessed," people at my mama's shop would
tell me 'bout my hair. Girls at school always wanted to play with it 'cause
it's so long.
Mama made sure it was done up all nice for school.
"Don't want the hair dresser's daughter's hair lookin'
nappy," she would say.
Rae looked like Grandma Lee, at least in those old pictures of
her.
"Don't know what I'm gonna do with Rae," Mama was
telling Mrs. Reiner, one of her regular customers.
"A lord, what she done now?"
"Jest last night, was coming home and heard her screaming
out the window. In the middle of the night, she was yelling something 'bout
Thomas
leaving her."
Uncle Thomas had been gone for five years, but it seemed like a
day if you hear Rae talk 'bout it. I sure did like Uncle Thomas. Uncle Thomas
was white and I was the only one in my school with a real life
white uncle.
I can still remember the days he would pick me up in his big ole
green
Cadillac. All the kids just lookin' at me and my white uncle. I
especially liked him 'cause he let me comb his hair. His hair
was so straight.
I never seen anybody with hair that straight. Mama had a time
pressing my hair to get it straight. It'd be straight for 'bout a day, then I'd
see them little crinkles forming back. That's why I liked combin' Uncle Thomas'
hair. His hair was like brown silk. I had a time tryin' to keep it in my hands.
Every time I gathered it up, it jest slipped right outta my hands.
For hours I'd just be standing on a chair combin', braidin', and
partin'. You know, he never said a word. He jest sat there like I wasn't even
there. I sure do miss combin' that straight hair of his. He hardly comes around
anymore. Sometime I see him at my mama's shop. Every few weeks he'd come by and
give my mama a plain white envelope.
He walks right pass me now, not sayin' anything. You know something,
Uncle Thomas looks like he's afraid to look at me. I was pretty sure that there
was money in them envelopes, 'cause it seem like after one of his visits Mama
would buy me something.
Hear people say he's living in some big apartment in the city.
People say that he and my aunt was livin' high. Now he's in the city, and Aunt
Rae's rentin' a room at the boarding house down the street.
"It's a shame," Mama would say to me, "Rae had
everything and now she ain't got nothing."
Mama would tell me stories 'bout when she and Rae were young.
She'd tell me stories 'bout how all the men downtown would stop in their tracks
just to get a look at her. Mama said Rae was flip. Grandma says I'm flip too,
‘onna count that I'm friendly. Mama said men, black and white, would buy her
things and take her on trips. At fifteen she ran away to Chicago. For six
months nobody heard from her. Then outta nowhere she'd be back. It was kinda
hard believin' them stories ‘bout her now. When I looked through them old
pictures, I tried to see the Rae I knew in the one that the pictures showed.
Rae had them Pearlie eyes. That's what they call them. The
Pearlies, Grandma Lee's people, had slanted eyes. I got ‘em too, ‘specially
when I smile. You can't hardly tell if my eyes are open or shut. Rae had them
eyes in the pictures. She still got them, but she got dark circles under them
now. Rae had beautiful teeth then--all white and shiny. You'd have a time
believin' that it's the same person. Rae's teeth started fallin' out right
after Uncle Thomas left. I bet she got ‘bout four, maybe five of them teeth
left. Mama says it serves her right, all them cigarettes and Cokes she drinks.
"Go on to the store and get yo' aunt a pack of Kools and a
six-pack of Coke," she would ask me.
I would go running. Truth was, I liked being ‘round Aunt Rae.
Them stories she'd tell 'bout my mama when they were young in Arkansas were
funny. I couldn't believe them stories she told ‘bout how she and my mama would
play tricks on the other kids.
"Oh yes and yo' mama sho' was a clever one. Did I tell you
how we tied your Uncle Sherman to a tree?"
Mama didn't like me bein' 'round Rae too much. Thought she'd do
something crazy to me. ‘Course I knew it wasn't true. Mama said Rae wasn't
right in the head.
"God don't like ugly, Mary Louise," she would say.
"You're aunt's payin' now. She payin' fo’ all the ugly she done in her
life."
Aunt Rae had her good and bad days. Some days I would find her
sitting in front of the television crying and come to find out, the TV wasn't
even on, or there would be days where she would be talkin' funny, like she was
from another country. Once she told me that she was from England and the man
who owned the house was keeping her captive. I tried to stay away from her on them
bad days.
I can't rightly say why I stuck under Rae so much. Maybe it was
'cause everybody was telling me how I looked at her. It was true. I looked mo'
like my aunt than my own mother.
"Girl, you lookin' mo and mo' like that aunt of
yours," people would tell me. Mama hated it when people told me that. I
would see her glance at me, tryin' not to see what everyone else saw.
"Mary Louise looks like her aunt on her father's
side," Mama would jump in. I just plain couldn't understand why Mama
didn't want me 'round Rae. Rae didn't have any friends, so I made it my duty to
be hers. Rae had been stayin' in a small room upstairs in Mr.Johnson's house.
As I walked up the
steep stairs that led to her room, I could smell her cigarettes.
Rae was
always smokin'. Seemed not right to see her without a cigarette
in her
hands.
Rae's room was filled with pictures of herself when she was in
Chicago. She'd be smiling something awful. Only thing different in the picture
was the man standing next to her. Rae always had a man standin' next to her,
some tall, some short, some old, some young. They looked mighty proud to be
standing next to Rae in them pictures.
"There's my girl," Rae said as I entered the room.
"Hey, I brought you a picture," I said as I sat on her
brass bed.
Rae was poor, but you'd have a hard time believin' it when you
saw her
room. She had kept most of the stuff she and Uncle Thomas had
when they
was married. Her queen-size bed was covered with white satin
sheets. Everywhere you turned, you'd see your reflection. Rae had this brass
vanity
set that she swore Uncle Thomas had sent straight from Paris. It
was
covered with all kinda perfumes. My Aunt Rae was always smellin'
good.
"Mary Louise, if I don't tell you nothin' else it's this,
always git the best and no less. You hear me chile, always the best. Don't let
no man
stick you with nothin' cheap."
Rae was always telling me something or another. It was kinda
like she was groomin' me for somethin'.
Rae was starin' out the window, looking down the street. She had
started doing a lot of that. It was like the world outside was somehow more
interesting than her own. For hours she'd stare out that window
into the sky.
"Aw, isn't that sweet. Thank you, sweetie," she said
as she looked at her new gift. Rae liked my pictures. She said she wanted to be
the first
to have a Mary Louise collection. Told me that they'd be
valuable some day
and she wanted to have her share.
"Mama said don't be late Sunday," I said as I began
twisting the loose ball of her brass headboard.
That was the only time Mama let Rae in the house. We had our
weekly family dinners at my house.
"Yo' mother's always tryin' to tell me what to do. I'm
gonna be fifteen minutes late jest for that. You tell her that for me."
She knew I wouldn't.
"You want me to put your hair in them braids you
like?" I asked.
Rae wasn't listening to me. I was used to it. Sometimes we'd
jest sit there not talking. Her starin' out that window and me lookin' at her.
Rae didn't know this, but I wanted to be jest like her. Seemed kinda nice to
have everybody talkin' 'bout me. I was gonna be flip jest like
her. I
wanted to have men follow me around and take me on trips and buy
me all
them nice things.
"Girl, the day you get the chance you leave this
town," she told me. “Run and don't ever look back. I shoulda never come
back here."
Folks say that she's wasting away here. They said that she had
lost all that life she had. Rae was like a Rose of Jericho. I learned about it
in my science class. It's a kind of flower. I read that once the herbs flower
on it, the leaves fall off and curve inside into a ball.
Sometimes the
wind blows them leaves in the water and brings them back to
life. Rae had
curved into a ball in that little room of hers hardly coming out
'cept to
go to our house for Sunday dinner.
Sometimes me and Rae played this game. I'd bring a map and we'd
look up all the places that sounded interesting. Then I'd add them to my list
of
all the places I'd like to go.
"You gonna go with me?" I asked.
"Chile, no. . . my time done came. I ain't goin' nowhere. I
ain't goin' nowhere till I see the Lord or the Devil himself. No tellin' with
me,"
she laughed.
When I looked at them old pictures of Mama and Rae, it seemed
like Rae took up all the space in them. My mama was barely noticeable in the
corner. She was always looking down in them pictures. When I could see her
eyes, they were kinda plain, no spark. They didn't look like Aunt
Rae's. Seems like her eyes said more than the picture itself.
When Mama
and Aunt Rae were together, seems like Mama just kinda fades
away. Even
now, although Mama's younger, her eyes still look dull while
Rae, with no
teeth and nappy hair, still seem to shine.
I'm sure not going to be like her. I'm gonna sparkle, just like
Rae.
When I get old and can't walk, people gonna still be talking
'bout the
sparkle in my eyes.
"You got yourself a boyfriend yet?" Rae asked.
"No," I said shyly.
"Girl, you be careful, with them looks of yours, boys be
coming left and right."
Rae didn't have to tell me. I already knew. Knew I was gonna be
Something, just couldn't wait. I didn't tell her this, but I had
kissed a
couple of boys behind the school. They paid me fifty cents too.
Bought me some candy with that money. I had already earned five dollars doing
what Rae had told me. "Don't ever let them give you something cheap,"
I remembered. If they wanted a kiss it would have to cost them.
Rae was teaching me everything. Even told me a little bit 'bout
the birds and the bees. I knew more than any of the girls in my class. We had
been through it all. Rae even taught me how to smoke and drink a little.
"All right, now don't try to inhale at first," she
said. "Now you hold it like this," she said, crossing her legs, her
cigarette between her fingers.
"Now, if a man wants you to light it, you let him. Just
kinda hold it in your mouth like this," she said.
One day I had stayed so long that it was dark before I got home.
Mama was worried something sick. Mama was like that. Never wanting me to get
too far outta her sight. It was like she was afraid that I'd leave and never
come back.
"Do you know what time it is?" she asked me.
"Nope."
"It's ten o'clock. I don't want no daughter of mine in the
streets afta dark. I swear you get more and more like Ja--"
Mama stopped in the middle of her sentence.
"Mama, please. I ain't got time for this."
Mama knew. Rae was always saying that she didn't have time for
silliness. Rae never had time for nothing.
"You been going to your Aunt Rae?" she asked, not
waiting for a reply. "I done told you time and time again. You jest plain
hard headed."
"Mama, she ain't got no friends. Why you so mean to
her?"
"Listen, I'm looking out for you. You know she ain't right
in the head. Doctors say she ain't right."
I began walking up the stairs to my room.
"Mama, she don't do nothin’. We jest talk. What's wrong
with that?" I asked. Mama moved closer to me.
“Don't you walk away from me when I'm talkin' to you!"
I stood on the stairs. Mama got this look on her face. She began
walking slowly up the stairs. I ain't never seen her look at me like that. I
was sure it was hate in her eyes.
"What's that smell?" she asked. She moved close to
smell my breath.
"You been drinking?"
"Mama, I ain't got ti--"
Mama slapped me. She slapped me so hard I had to catch myself on
the
banister before I fell down.
"Ain't got time," she said. "Ain't got time. I'm
so tired of "ain't got time". You always saying you ain't got time.
You ain't got time to listen to me when I told you not to go to Chicago, but
you went. You ain't got time when Mama was sick and I told you she was dying,
too busy not having time. Ain't got time to take care of your husband, that's
why he left you. Didn't even have time to raise your own child!" Mama
said.
Mama realized what she had said and just looked at me, tears
rolling down her face. I felt my legs collapse underneath me. I just couldn't
stand
up. Now I understood why Mama didn't want me around Rae.
The next day I went back to my Aunt Rae's. I was so happy, Aunt
Rae was my mama. I couldn't wait to hug her and tell her that I wanted to live
with her. All those years I knew that something just wasn't right between me
and Mama.
I ran up the stairs to her room. Rae was still starin' out that
window of hers.
"Hey,” I said as I entered slowly into the room. I walked
over to the
window and hugged her.
"Well, there's my girl. What you bring me today?"
"Nothing." I said, not knowing if I should tell her or
not. "Mama told me."
"What yo' mama done done now," she asked.
"I know," I said.
"Chile, you talkin' silly. What you talkin' 'bout?"
she asked me.
"Mama told me what you did. She said you was my mama,"
I said.
Rae jumped up from her hair and looked at me.
"Mary Louise, you know I ain't got children."
“But Mama told me," I said. "I was thinkin' I can move
in here with you, if you don't mind sharin' a bed with me, I mean, 'till we
move outta here. Now we can go to all them places we wanted to go to--"
"Stop it!" she yelled. "I ain't got no
children!" Rae began screaming; she didn't stop. I ran outta that room so
fast. I could hear Rae's scream out the window.
"You stay away from me!"
Mama and I never talked about that night and I never told her
about that day. I never went back to Rae's. A few weeks later Mama decided to
put
her in a home where she said she would be cared for.
No sooner had Mama put Rae in that home then Rae had up and
killed
herself. People said she walked right outta that place to a
bridge in the middle of town and jumped right off. Rae just jumped right in
that water.
Every time I pass by the bridge I get a little sad. Then I start
to think that Rae's like the Rose of Jericho, getting a new life. That she's
going back to all them places she had been before.
The End
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